Thursday, October 09, 2008

Guilt Feelings

I am trying to keep myself sane in the D. The Portuguese is being studied, the miles are being run (I did 7.5 on Tuesday night) and the weaving piece is nearly done. I'm getting through the final home repair projects and starting to pack up the last of the rubble. The roof repairs begin on the 20th and I got the locks fixed on Monday. But I keep thinking I should be with the kids and Dan in Sao Paulo. Heavy guilt. They are going through a whole bunch of new things and feelings that I'm not experiencing with them. Dan is starting a new job in a foreign country. He shouldn't have to deal exclusively with the kids too. Don't the kids need their Mom anymore? Probably not since they are strong independent teens but maybe I need them more than I know.

I think I'll be much better once I get to see them again on October 26 (17 days!) They should be leaving the hotel shortly and moving into the apartment. I know Hannah is tired of eating meals there everyday.

I had a nice lunch with my brother yesterday. We work about a mile apart everyday but we only do this a few times a year. It was great to catch up with Tim yesterday.

2 comments:

corinne said...

(from the Corinne in Brazil)
My thoughts go out to you. It must be hard to not be with them. Eventhough my son is still little, I know I need him more than he needs me. The 26th will come quickly.

Corinne said...

Col, try to enjoy your time alone.... something you have never, ever had in your life.

They're growing up. Ro is perfectly capable of taking care of them.

Hugs to you my friend.